Place where you felt heard: 

I feel heard when I'm with my friends, specifically friends who have similar low income first gen backgrounds as me. I remember this one Wednesday night I stopped by my friend Bellas room after work to say goodnight, and I ended up talking with her and her roommate until 5am about how hard being first gen and low-income is. Navigating college without being able to ask your parents for help adds extra pressure to already difficult course work and adjusting to a new environment. 

 
Place where you felt spoken to: 

 Church camp my 5th grade year. The last night of camp we had our annual s'mores by campfire, and I don't know if I can do this story justice, but my friends started sharing their testimonies on how that week being surrounded by God fearing people impacted them and by the end of the night everyone was in tears sharing their stories. 

 
Place where it is complicated: 

My relationship with Mom. I'm her daughter, but I feel like I'm parenting her all the time giving her financial advice and sharing common sense with her.  

 

Scar Wars – 7 minutes  

When I put my hair in a ponytail and feel a breeze on my limp ear I remember the jagged scar along its backside.  

Most of the time I’m putting my hair up outside with friends.  

 Who do I compare myself too? My little sister. When I was young, every Easter my dad would dress me and my sister up in matching dresses, put a single pig tail in my hair, and make us take a picture together in our front yard. I was taller than her then. We haven’t taken these Easter pictures in years now but in our most recent family photo my sister has grown into her childhood lankiness and hovers half a foot over me. We have the same hair, and she picked up my style, but I like to paint myself in makeup and she is more natural. I also have a new tattoo and these piercings that sent me to the hospital.

 When I turned 18, I wanted to do everything that I could with my new freedom. Basically, that means tattoos, piercings and 1 random scratch off at my neighborhood gas station. Oh, and I also dyed my hair for the first time too. Up until that point I only had my lobes pierced and I got that done when I was very young so I know little to nothing about piercings and aftercare, but I did not think it would be a big deal. So, I went to Claire’s in the mall, paid $80 to get my cartilage pierced with a piercing gun. Was told to clean my ears 3 times a day for about 8 weeks. The same day I buy a scratch off for $5 and win nothing but it was a fun experience. Then the next day I get my hair dyed, as they’re washing out the toner all I could think about was how the hair stylist was scraping my new earrings and that I had to be at work within the hour. Once I get to work, I notice that there’s still some kind of hair product all around my ear, more specifically in and around my piercing so I do everything in my power to clean it. This is also a restaurant job so this same day as I’m lifting some gigantic tray of dirty plates, I bang my newly pierced ear on a door, and it swells up like a balloon. The only thing to do because I was still at work was ice the ear. The following days the swelling did not go down, so I made a trip to Care Now. I was told the ear was infected, I was given shots in both hips and the doctor cut open the back of my ear to let it drain. I was then instructed to remove the piercing when the swelling went down. The swelling did not go down, I returned to Care Now. The doctor just drained my ear again; the swelling this time around also did not recede. I returned to Care Now a third time and was redirected to the emergency room where my ear was cut open yet again and drained. At each of these visits I was given different antibiotics too it was not fun. The night after the emergency room visits, I started throwing up and did not sleep well. I called my dad and he said he would make an appointment with my cook children's physician, basically I was checked in and then referred to the hospital in Fort Worth. At this hospital I was given numbing medication and many scans were taken. By the time surgery rolled around, since I was 18, I was being asked all of the questions, asked to sign waivers acknowledging the risk of coming out of surgery with cauliflower ear! I could not believe it, how did a simple piercing put me in this situation. Thankfully the surgery did go well, but I had to $5,000 for all of the expenses after insurance from my own money since the bill was in my name. Unfortunately, this is my coming-of-age story, having to take myself to the doctors, sign scary waivers, and pay a huge medical bill. 

 

First crush/ First kiss:

 From a young age I was drawn to confident, intelligent, and kind people. Strong emphasis on kind. When boys would bump into me on the playground causing me to fall and get cut, I was never flattered when the teacher said, “Don’t cry sweetie, it’s because they like you.” That is the most illogical thing I have ever heard, if you like someone show them kindness and friendship. Anyways because of this I never had any interest in a boy until I got to 5th grade and became best friends with Matthew Oliver. We would compete for the top grades in class, he would carry my books, and we both just complemented each other in the best ways through encouragement and kind words. To my dismay he moved the summer before 6th grade and neither of us had phones, so I haven’t heard from him since I was 10. I had the biggest crush on him but looking back this friendship has shown me what to look for in relationships. Douchebags won’t ever win in my book.

  

Embarrassing Story: 

I started playing the French Horn in 7th Grade and from the very beginning I had terrible anxiety when it came to playing in front of people. This is stemming from how judgmental band kids can be. So, a year after I started playing French Horn a big district wide competition was coming up and my private lesson teacher noticed I sounded prepared and said that to the Symphonic Band Director. In turn she decided to have me play the entire audition in front of the whole band. I had to play 2 randomly chosen scales, my chromatic scale, and a technical and lyrical etude. My audition was not even bad, but I was trembling and was so anxious I just started crying in front of the entire band. After I cried a percussion student that was a year older than me told me I did good and patted me on the back. 

  

Presentation prompts: 

 One day I won't think twice about swiping my card.

 One day I'll be so well off I can help my mom.

 One day my dad won't be lonely. 

 One day my siblings will have made it too.

 

I'm not really a sentimental person so in my dorm room I don't have anything from home. To be fair I also live 20 minutes away so I also never feel homesick or miss home because I can just go home. I do have a little keychain my mom got me when she visited Mexico and that stays on my car keys but I rarely remember it is there. 

 

 Covid. Snow storms. Adapting & Growing Up 

 

 I’ve been thinking about the way, first gen students who made it to college, have overcome so many obstacles from the offset. Or how many first gen’s have just given up on the dream that is college. 

 

 Message/ Purpose on what i want to achieve? 

 The barriers that first gen students face are real and also a very big determinant of college aspirations and success. So getting to college is a huge accomplishment, and first gen students should be proud of themselves for pushing past those financial/ family barriers and pursuing an education that is going to bolster their livelihood.

 

​